Teeter tottering

Sleeping seems to have become a greater exercise. It's easier just to stay awake so I DON'T think about eating food, that I really haven't or replaying conversations about sending me back to prison the unit.

I've been teeter tottering the line of passing out I know my 'signs' dizzy shaky everything goes black I can't communicate and all sound evaporates into space. As the day has progressed so too have my hit and near misses.

Last night I begged my little sister not to tell my parents. And this morning the postie almost had to bare witness :/

My weight has dropped again placing my BMI at 19.1 one part of me is in complete rapture and the other, is bat shit scared. Also after discharge my heart rate say between 100-120 this morning it was at 76bpm!

Sorry this is such a nothing post I'm struggling to get simple things out like "the playground) I guess this is due to the starved state my body is in.

Xxx