Curiosity got the cat.

So as the title goes curiosity got the cat. It's been what maybe 3 days? Since I weighed. Since I started mindlessly grazing like I was stuck in some kind of trance. Like I was some sort of animal! Well this morning I woke up. FOR REAL! I opened my eyes and though "bitch p-lease". 

No more can I handle the stress of trying to be normal. What is normal? The dictionary states that it is the act of "conforming to the standard of the common type; usual, not abnormal, regular, natural" well eating more then 600calories, more then one meal a day is not.normal.for.ME!!! Needless to say down the sink went the weet-bix and jumping on the scales went I.

An entire kilo gain and .4 on my BMI. Now comes the task of annihilating this weight gain. Should be quite easy really but still nothing to smile about here not until I am 'comfortable' again. Funny how you never realise your comfort zones until you breach them.

Thought I may also share with you a poem I wrote. A metaphor for falling.

Falling

My eyes adjust. My breath catches. My feet slip!

Free falling.

Falling.

Falling.

Falling.

A silent cry from her voice. Screaming without air.

Frozen.

With her hair neatly pinned back and her uniform concisely tailored to her. Beads of sweat form. A gradual warmth takes over.

Floating.

White clouds placed honestly. Left right and centre. Riding closer. Stupendous pillows of evaporative air.

Her eyes open wide by wind.

The wind of the stark reality.

Tumbling.

Arms outstretched like an injured bird, the wings half spread.

And to her starboard arm the glint of water catches.

A gymnast in motion.

Unreachable.

Untouched.

A hurtling fall.

She plummets at its will.

Lying in a field of broken dreams.

A cloud she cannot slip through.

She feels herself go.

Go outward.

Go onward.

Go forth. 

Xxxx Bec