In heaven

I didn't weigh this morning on account of feeling fat because i ate an extra 175g soy yoghurt last night when i went out to the beach with my friend. Yeah she ate yoghurt for dinner now thats my kinda style. But i don't think i'll be able to resist weighing tomorrow. I've eaten 100g of chips and its 2.30. and then i can skip dinner if i so do choose as it's footy night for the kids so no parental supervision. Sweet relief.

Stumbling.

Tripping.

Slipping.

Falling.

Head first. But I'm happy. Life is finally coming together. I'm moving out, I don't totally hate my body, I'm looking at getting a job, going back to school. All these things take time but I have a flame thats growing inside of me.

6 months ago i had a black storm cloud that incased my life it bought torrential rain and now its a little plume of black splatter that comes from the exhaust pipe when your car back fires. It is growing as the weather gets colder I won't lie but maybe this time I can control it? I know what your thinking "has she totally lost her mind? Has she not learnt anything about the law of physics in the last 5 years?" My answer; no, no I haven't. I like to live in my own little world of denial where the world is full of puppy dogs lollipops and rainbows.

I had my DSP appt Monday where my participation plan was reviewed. I was exempt from looking for work. I was told i didn't have to see matchworks. I got a letter in the mail today advising me of my approaching appointment, with matchworks. *cue breakdown*. I re-pieced myself together and rang them they told me to ring centrelink they told me to ring matchworks as they couldn't withdraw the activity but as far as they could see it wasn't compulsory as long as i attend counselling and centrelink appointments and if i didn't turn up my payments would be cancelled. *cue second breakdown*. I rang matchworks and they amended the situation in about 5 seconds flat. Hooray.

Someone up in heaven is looking out for me at the moment.

UPDATE: I lost 300g 1.8kilos in two days. Hunni I'm home