I went to the movies with my boyfriend last night it was a great night even though we barely talked it was hard to find something to talk about we talk on a daily basis which dry's up the conversation starters. We went and saw Gone Girl it was really messed up. At the end of the night i said goodbye gave him a little kiss on the cheek then nearly fell out of the car. Just great.
He didn't even have popcorn so I felt like a fatty eating my supper :( you'd think he was the one with Anorexia not me.
I don't know when we will see each other again next he hasn't even bothered to message me today and I don't want to be the first to message him. Mexican standoff right here ladies and gents. I'm actually really questioning my mindset as to why I'm with him I like him don't get me wrong but it just feels rushed which it is I've known him a week and been his gf for 4 of those days.
I'm tempted to start fasting again tomorrow but I know it will break my mum's heart but I just can't keep up with this. Going to resort back to ensure I think and slowly ease my way into complete restricting again. I have nothing binding me anymore and a team thats about ready to give up on me granted I'm dealing well, which I'm not. But who's to say I can't tell them I am? It's my word against there's.
UPDATE: so I messaged 'my' boy and told him he either tell his parents or I can't be with him he chose the latter I am now heartbroken and actively engaging in my anorexia I don't see the point in trying I'm ugly fat and unlovable :''(
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