Bittersweet

I'm going to a music concert tonight with my mum. I'm excited. 

I'm going out to dinner with my mum tonight. I'm anxious.

I took double my dose of seroquel. 200mg in one big shot. The concert won't finish until about 11pm. I'm already falling asleep it's 5.20pm, just great. 

No one ever said I was a smart one.

UPDATE: the one time I need to stay awake I'm falling asleep over dinner. At least the crowdedness in my mind was lessened and turned to white noise. It helped that there was only 7 people in the restaurant including my mum and I and I was faced with my back towards everyone. 

I ordered a fettucini carbonara something I would usually steer well clear of but I craved eating something without the nagging thought of meticulously calculating how many calories were in it I'd rather be blissfully oblivious. Then we ordered dessert another rarity for me. Sticky date pudding and vanilla bean ice cream. I figure I might as well enjoy my last supper I'm on the edge of another full blown relapse it's a matter of weeks maybe even days! So why does one good night have to be wrecked?

The concert was amazing it was magical. I forgot who I was for 3hrs I took up the pedestal of fan girl cooing over one of my favourite childhood country singers. I swear I pinched myself so much you'd think my arm had been eaten by fleas. I bought her your album so guess what'll be on repeat? Bittersweet. And tonight, was nothing short of bittersweet!