How will I cope?

Well after my last post, I fell.
Hard.
I hit my head on the way back up.
I'm back to the 75% self proclaimed 'recovering failure' that i was beforehand.
But things are different. I'm still fighting relapse tooth and nail. I am doing it a little less subtly though now. Slowly decreasing my intake. Restricting to safe foods. Waiting for the over exercise to kick in.

I'm planning for the future. Or trying too. Trying to make something of my life other then hospital, home, relapse, hospital, tube feed, home, relapse.
The same cycle I have been living in for the last 3 years.
I'm looking at moving to live with my grandparents. I'm looking at studying nursing. All good things i suspect. But the ever looming "How will you cope" lingers over my head.

How will I cope?