A car with no breaks, free falling with no parachute, dabbling but not swimming

I've started school. 

It's well underway. 

I have two assignments due in two weeks. 

One is half done. 

The other barely even looked at.

Our internets stopped working. 

So, I have to throw in the towel tonight. 

Damn bugger damn. 

I'm loving it. 

My anorexia not so. 

I have to keep my energy levels up so I can concentrate. 

This week though I plan on dropping back to one fruit juice and one meal. 

I miss my anorexia. 

I still dabble but I don't swim in it. 

At the moment. 

I feel out of control. 

Like I'm driving a car.

With no breaks. 

Free falling.

Without a parachute.

I had a dr appt today. 

Apparently I should be taking vitamin D. 

I had to book a hep b vaccine. 

Monday. 

For school go figure. 

Everythings for school now days.

I'm so lucky to live in this country. 

But man, I hate vaccines. 

Give me a blood test any day. 

I am now linked in with the hospital up here. 

They are going to discuss my case over the weekend.

And ring me on Monday to arrange an appt. 

I spoke to my psych back home. 

Told her my parents didn't want me hence why I'm staying here. 

Told her I didn't want to stay here.

She said we'd talk Tuesday. 

She told me to think about it. 

Seems wherever I go I don't want to be. 

I feel like a failure. 

Like a let down. 

Like I'm living my dads dream. 

I want to give it until April though.

Lord give me the answers. Please?