What an awful day.
First i rang my psychologist back home to tell her I was coming home where she told me no matter what she was discharging me. I needed 'emotional regulation therapy' which she couldn't offer.
Then I booked my plane fair home. 8.20 saturday I arrive.
Followed by the arrival of books I no longer require and $1000 out of pocket due to the purchase because I thought I would need them as i full well intended on completing the course.
Then my grandma had a go at me that I "don't understand how the body works" excuse me, I have lived in this body for 19 and a bit years I think I know how my body works.
My phone rang. Dad. Well he continued to berate me "you give up on everything for this eating disorder". I got off the phone and cried for a good half hour sobbing and screaming "I ate fucking bread. All this because of a potato. I've ruined everything good that I had. I want help but I don't know how to ask for it. I just want to talk to somone. I want this all to end"
And that my friends is the gist of a shit day that's gone to hell and now I think I might go to hell to.
Xx Good night xX
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