Damned if I do damned if I don't

Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Well I woke up early. I was having the most magnificent dream I was about to eat a greasy fat hot dog  it was gleaming in the dim light. And then, my phone rang. Oh well I suppose I'm on a hunger strike in my dreams too?

I then went back to sleep and was woken again by a dispute agency I had contacted months ago the dispute was long finished so I told them I no longer required their assistance rolled over and went back to sleep.

To be woke  for the third and final time this time it was a follow up triage from Fridays day trip to A&E. She spoke to me about my presentation. What I was eating/drinking. The way I was physically feeling. If I wanted OP support with either jigsaw or EDS (my old team) which I had apparently declined. I declined jigsaw not eds. Well she drew up a new referral and left me saying "given your state they will be in contact very soon" and by very soon I thought she meant a few days.

I was wrong I got a phone call this afternoon from eds unit manager. They're taking me back. Apparently my presentation to A&E was "very serious" and in my current state I was still "very worrisome there are a lot of red spots ie. your liver is starting to fail" oh goodie goodie gum drops just what I always wanted NOT! She has booked me in for the first appt when my old psychiatrist gets back next week Friday 2pm and "if your condition hasn't changed ie.still not eating drinking 1 diet coke a day he will probably see you unfit to make decisions and section you" fucking hell! I ask to be referred and this is what I get! We all know my "condition" won't change. Oh an to add to the joy I was told I need to see a gp I asked to wait until Thursday and try and get an emergency appt with my gp (that's when she's in next) after she told me my 19th of march appt was too far away-which I new but it was worth a try I was bluntly told "no you need to get checked out tonight" I disputed we settled on tomorrow after a long debate back and forth miss cheerful always gets her way. And she got her way. I HAVE to get checked out tomorrow and she's going to check and if my vital are a screw I get a free one way ticket to hospital -.- god I hate her sometimes.

I did do something nice for myself today though I've booked myself in to get my nails done Friday (if I have to get admitted tomorrow I'm taking a detour to the nail salon).