*Trigger warning* food mentioned

My body is changing and so it should be I suppose with 10.4kg lost in a matter of three weeks. My periods stopped for six weeks, I'm constantly cold, my stomach is flatter, my collar bones are showing, my hips dig into my bed, I'm getting a thigh gap back, I'm fitting into my 'skinny clothes' again just but still, if I suck in I can see my ribs, my arms aren't as flabby they actually look 'healthy' not fat like actually fat! Still a long way to go but, I'm seeing small improvements.  

I'm where I left off on Thursday before the saline and potassium weight gain so now I can focus on losing again. I've lost 200g nothing right? but 200g is 200g I'll take it. That's a small block of chocolate! :D

The days were passing by in succession in a haze one moment it was here the next it was gone. Now they've slowed I'm sleeping late sleeping most of the day praying when I wake it'll be over to realise a mere hour or two or three has passed and I still have 8hrs until 'bed time'. 

I'm hiding in my room theory behind that is if my parents can't see me they won't know when I pass out good in thought until they summon me inside to socialise it's so damn boring in here nothing to do except count the hours. I'm kinda hoping they summon me inside but in here there's no temptation to eat. I'm safe.

*Time lapse* And I went inside I couldn't deal with it anymore and now I'm stuck in another room smelling their pizza and sausage rolls wondering how long will it be before I eat something? It's triggered binge thoughts I know will never happen butter chicken and saffron rice, Hawaiian and garlic pizza, burgers, chips and gravy, chicken, nuggets, potato gems, sushi, party pies with tomato sauce, a steaming bowl of peas and corn, porridge, sticky date pudding, subway, mud cake, jam donuts, pumpkin soup and bread, KFC potato and gravy, souvlaki, Kiev balls, whipped cream, caramel slice, chocolate frappe, popcorn, pancakes and maple syrup, profiteroles, tiramisu, ice cream sundae, nachos and sour cream, avocado vegemite and cheese toastie, roast pork crackle and gravy rolls or even just roast veggies would do and apple sauce. Omfg food is everywhere...except in my god damn body.

I am so angry I've relapsed it has ruined everything and I'm missing out on simple pleasures I want to nourish my body instead of living on diet coke. I'm sick of this illness I want my life back.