My birthday is on Monday (3days) and my dad just asked me what I wanted I'm turning 19 and I said nothing when all I really want is to eat but nobody can give me that and to achieve that would be like asking your dog to sing... Not going to happen. One might even go as far to say impossible!
My dad then had a meaningful conversation with me about my anorexia saying he is trying to respect my wishes of not wanting to go to hospital but if (and when inevitably) I go unconscious unresponsive comatos and on the brink of death will he then call an ambulance. He has also taken the mismanagement of my case to our local member of parliament.
At 5pm I went and got my hair done as a personal treat its about the only place i go other then appointments these days. I went bright red again.
I then went to the bottle shop to buy alcohol and my allowance is two a day to celebrate grand final and my birthday. 65calories per oz so two oz is 130calories I don't even know if I will be able to handle that. For the first time ever I let my dad see the sheer panic I have over calories standing in the bottle shop for a good 20 minutes umming and areing about which alcohol had the least calories or how i could reduce the calories. And he actually helped! He then sent me to buy a slab of coke walking back to the car i thought my heart was going to give way and when I got back to the car he realised and said "that wasn't a good idea I'll carry it from here" no matter how much i reassured him I was fine so verdict is he cares. A LOT!
My dad did however bring it to my attention today that my little siblings are going to want cake and dinner on Monday. OMG stress. I don't know what I'll do maybe let them do candles and sing and just not eat? My dad understands that I can't eat not that I don't want too
Today has been a really good day in terms of getting my dad to understand a bit more that although I want to eat I just... can't. He thinks I'm screaming for help and maybe I am I just can't see it everything gets lost in my little bubble and I cant see as far forward as my nose.
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