I'm finding myself quite obsessed with calories again. After a year of (barely any) calorie counting I'm methodically planning my days ahead and fearing meals being any more then 300-400calories again! It's so tiering mentally and takes up way too much of my time I have barely any time for anything else.
In other news I'm meeting up with friends tomorrow and we're supposed to be cooking I have found I am really enjoying cooking again but with other people....it just freaks the shit out of me! And then, I'm supposed to be meeting another friend for afternoon tea and I just can't bring myself to eat in public or even with her (she's had AN) I'm just too scared of how she'll judge me in her head (even though i know she is the kindest person and would never judge me ESPECIALLY not over my Anorexia).
I got a new cookbook yesterday on vegetarianism and I'm excited to lead a new healthier lifestyle that abides by my morals. I don't believe in the on slaughter of innocent animals. I'm waiting until next Thursday so I have a week to plan for it and prepare myself with all the knowledge there is on how to make sure I don't get vitamin and mineral deficient... again.
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