Still losing

I was only going to weigh after 1pm today but I couldn't sleep and the voice told me I had to weigh so I've been just as obsessive about my weight today as I have been for the past week and a half. It's an awful habit but I just can't seem to pull myself together and make it through the day without weighing. It's about the only thing I can be bothered doing and its very time consuming as my scales are in the lounge room and i'm constantly on them upwards of 5 times a day and my parents don't realise they are scales (It's on my wii so i don't know how reliable they are but they seem to give the same results as the clinic so for now i trust them) did i mention my day revolves around finding clothes to wear that weigh less then 1kg... hard stuff when your freezing all the time.

700g from gw2 (lost 800g since yesterday) I won't make that by thursday (maybe I will? If not I'll be close) but i will make that by my birthday next monday. I am feeling really good about myself since reaching gw1 but still not good enough. I'm 200g away from having lost 5kg in the last week scary but hoping I can meet that goal by Thursday :s it's doable if I get my shit together!

I am actually scared about my appointment but I'm in desperate need of help and I think it is a big achievement for me to accept that. I'm actually counting down until my appointment (less then 48hrs more then 24hrs. My brains not working well enough to figure out precisely how long) something i've never done before! I'm just scared they will want to admit me and that i just won't accept... They told me since the beginning of my discharge they "can handle weight loss just not 5kg in a week" what can i say...oops?

Still struggling to drink anything substantial and its taking a toll on me i almost passed out in the shed before. i caught myself just before i face planted the concrete :/

My dad just sat on me and told me I was "boney"

I've finally picked up my crocheting again and its really therapeutic I'm glad to be back to it after a week and a half of being unable to get in the mindset to do anything.

Sorry this is so incoherent and poorly structured my minds just all over the place at the moment mostly focused on weight, calories in and, calories out, what i can drink and, what i can't drink and, what i crave and, how many calories that would amount too and, how I'm just not allowed to even think about that entering my body its just not happening i would rather die before having to eat. Eating is just strictly off limits. Not to mention my mum's been up crying the last three nights about our 'dysfunctional family' including my anorexia it makes me feel so bad for her i wish i wasn't sick but...I'm powerless to the demon in my mind.

Anyway i think i've said enough good day and good night lovelies

FEELING: Successful