Fantasising

So I woke up this morning to a nice little surprise. 300g loss after not one but two diet cokes yesterday which to me is like eating a full roast dinner! I've lost a measly 600g in 3 days how pathetic!? But the numbers still seem to be going in the right direction no matter how slowly. I've reached GW2.

Today the cravings are intense! I guess four weeks of no food can do that to you. I'm fantasising about going on a binge fest; hot chips, burgers, gravy, parmigana, subway, chicken, sushi, S&V chips, nachos, snickers, yoghurt, cream donuts, thickshakes, pizza, chicken kiev balls, garlic bread, spaghetti bolognese, noodles, custard, ice-cream, pancakes the list could go on. But its just teasing my brain as I know if I was faced with one mouthful of food I'd take one look at it turn and run in the opposite directions in hysterics trying not to regurgitate (sorry tmi) whatever may lay in the pit of my stomach, (which would probably be diet coke).

I wonder how much longer this can go on!? It can not be sustainable I'm truly shocked and surprised at my will power (or lack thereof--I'm supposed to be recovering) to have not eaten a morsel for so long surely I have got to be doing damage to my body. I have NEVER heard of someone going this long without a thing. And what's worse is there is no end in sight. I have since found out a human can go 2 months without food! OMG :O

I'm at my wits end I want to eat I crave it and I envy everyone around me able to gorge and satisfy themselves. I just want to break down come Tuesdays appointment tell P to take control as I can't keep living this way but what stops me is the sheer fear of being sent back to the Swanston centre the ONE place I am doing everything in my power to avoid. And the dreaded tube I don't know I could handle it again laying there not moving getting fat, fat, fat!

I guess only time will tell