Today is filled with promises.
Today I promise not to eat until dinner.
Today I promise to meet up with an old school friend.
Today I promise not to drink coffee like I should be.
Today I promise to love myself
Today I promise to not let anything get in the way
Today I promise to not make this a battle of the stronger Anorexic. But no doubt that's what it'll become. A battle of the stronger anorexic the more determined anorexic and the only prize at the end of this race is death. But still we'll race it believing we are the invincible couple.
My mum says I can get a gym membership if I'm eating healthy even if that means being vegetarian. I can't eat I'm in a lock down in my own body a battle of the wills and Anorexias will just happens to be the stronger half. So instead I'll get a gym membership then tell her I know she doesn't agree I know she's scared she'll lose me to this disease but I can't keep living in this house holed up with nothing to do but crochet here and there I need to get active and stop feeling like everything is going in slow motion. Because it is.
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