The dietician is reluctant to send me home due to our failed attempts in the past. She says if I pull the tube out she won't be facilitating a discharge home again. Dad says he thinks I will pull the tube out it's just a matter of time. Thanks for the vote of confidence dad.
The tube is also only a short term plan with a 6week life span and I've already had it in a week so I have 5weeks left up my sleeve. I think I want to recover I just don't know how I don't remember a life without anorexia. Dads concerned that I will eat to avoid hospital for a period of time and once the referral has been cancelled I will stop again. I'm hoping he's wrong.
Also the wait list is now 2-3months and if I get in or more or less when I get in I have to do the full program which is a minimum of 12weeks! I was going insane after 10! I have no idea how I'll cope.
I've been literally begging the drs here to give me my prn lorazepam to help me continue with my recovery and attempt to eat to no avail so my mum asked for me today and I'm now being written up for seroquel. I managed 50calories orally yesterday it's not a lot but it's a start I have to start somewhere. And I'm trying! Just wish the wait list wasn't so long as anyone knows anything can happen in that period of time.
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