One of my favourite social events of the year despite my crippling social phobia I always make a special effort to attend with my family and some medication on board, this year it was seroquel. I just LOVE watching the kids faces light up. I've only been on it... a week? And I'm not finding it helpful in the slightest but I'm keeping up with taking it hoping that maybe it will just take some perseverance for it to enter into my body and do me any good? I'm tempted to just resort back to taking my lorzepam a sure thing to ease the anxiety but I'm trying to work with my team as I know its an addictive drug even despite my not-very-addictive-nature.
My mum is being amazing at the moment making a special effort to work with me and my Anorexia making me soup especially knowing that it is one of my few safe foods. I am also trying my hardest to challenge my Anorexia and eat other 'forbidden' or 'banned' foods whilst I have the chance. I know that the minute I get this tube out I will be back to my old ways. I even bought a show bag this year! Which is something I didn't do last year for the sheer fact that the very thought made my anxiety peek to an anxiety attack which ended in a cold sweat, shakes, heart pounding, mind racing...you get the picture.
On Monday I'm starting a 4 week taster course online in Nutrition and Dietetics I'm really excited about it as if it is successful I might actually sign up to the full course giving me something else to focus my time on other then the full time job that is my Anorexia.
Anyway I will now leave you with some photos to some up the last few days
All dolled up. This is the first time I have worn make-up in far too long. It used to be the one thing I prided myself with
The view from a-top the ferris wheel. I also went on a ride called the extreme which spun at 160km/h. I'm proud to say I didn't spew lol
The monster trucks and fireworks my favourite two attractions of the night
My feed set-up as we don't have a stand this time round. If the dietician gets one in this week she will give us a call and let us know
My yummy potato and leek soup with a dollop of cream :) feeling blessed.
No comments:
Post a Comment