Yep that's right I'm smashing my eating disorder bullshit. I make things sound easy like I can just switch it on or off and sometimes it feels as if I can do just that. But it's not that easy it's nowhere near as easy as learning the abc maybe a little more difficult like times tables (I never got the hang of these things). But I'm drinking my chai tea and eating 100% of my meals (with the exception of last weekends hiccup but, I've moved forward).
I finally have motivation again in my life. I want to get better to see my beautiful little niece grow up. I want to get better so my sister doesn't worry I will die in my sleep. I want to get better so my parents don't have to feel like they have an infant at home still. I want to get better so I can go back to school and make something of myself. I want to get better so I can travel the world and experience life for what it is; a truly amazing and inspirational oyster.
I can't have the 'best of both worlds' in terms of having all the above and an Eating Disorder. I realise that. But at the same time I realise no one chooses an Eating Disorder as can nobody choose to just completely cold turkey it.
Anorexia robs you of life, it robs you of passion and zeal. And what does it give you? A whole heap of medical issues that are long term detrimental and potentially life threatening. I'm over the whole to and fro shit.
Waiting to call my dad in an hour now can't wait to speak to him he always puts me in a good mood
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