I ODed last night nothing too bad i took 80 mg of olanzapine and 20 mirtazapine. I just didn't know what to do anymore I just wanted to sleep (not death sleep) :'( to stop the misery. I won't be doing that again anytime soon I didn't get to sleep until 3am I was having jerks hallucinations and couldn't sleep I'd lye down and jolt back up mumbling something I couldn't even understand. And then I had an awful dream I didn't eat for two days so they put me back in the children's ward with an NG tube. I didn't wake up today until 11.30 when someone came banging on my door I was just so tired and then i slept all day I think it was the meds finally settling in. I thought i was dying but like hell was i going to tell someone.
Argh stupid me I'm just letting my life slip through my fingers. I have decided I will completely stop eating january 29th of there abouts because I know i can do it whenever I want.
I rang disability support agent and she said I have to pay for the course and they will reimburse me $300 off a course that costs 1400$ and it had to be paid in full before the school year begins did I mention I'm broke and can't afford it :''( now I have an excuse to NOT eat.
Why does nothing I want to do ever work out?
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