Late nights early mornings

It 1.20am on Monday the 15th of June. Another early post. Sleep evades me I just can't nod off and when I eventually do I want an eternal slumber. But alas each day I wake with my new found ember of hope. The day fills me with both anxiety and excitement. I'm one day closer to reaching my goals and that means facing my fears. My friend is peacefully snoring next to me. The sound of purity. I like these early morning or late nights it quite my thoughts just stop for a moment and I can collect myself. Everything just stops.

I'm actually in the process of babysitting. Which requires a lot of time. And energy. Yesterday we went to the beach and played footy had an ice cream and played on the park we didn't get home until about 8pm. Today we went to the beach for a walk and went to a cafe for afternoon tea again we weren't home until 7pm. This is a cause for anxiety for me meal times have specific times that must be adhered to otherwise, I panic. Well dinner hasn't been until about 9 cooking to perfection meals I have never even attempted before I'm 'winging it' as the saying goes and I'm pretty damn happy. I'm a good cook to be honest I just don't have a lot of faith in myself especially with no recipe or supervision. 

My friend came over tonight so we chatted for hours. She wants me to adopt a dog. I want to adopt it. If I don't she's going to get put down. She's only a puppy not that there's an excuse for any animal to be put down except to put them out of pain. She's moving out in September and we both want to go raw (vegan) it has been said 21 days to make or break a habit. I don't know how true this is but I'm a thorough believer. So she offered me to stay with her so we can do it together. I told her my plans get my drivers license move out get a job and go back to my nursing none of these will happen overnight but I'm working towards them. She's really supportive. Hell she even suggested moving in with her in 9-10weeks omg hell yes please! So yep it might be happening for real stability and independence. 

Life is falling into place and with each day I'm feeling stronger (and less suicidal). I have my ups my downs my moments but I'm still alive and, I'm loving life for once I genuinely feel happy! 

Ps. We're getting drunk Tuesday night what a plan aye? I'm worried about the cals but looking forward to a good night with my girl god I love her how was I ever so lucky 

So not looking forward to waking up only a few more hours and I have to get the kiddlywinks ready for school -.-