Still kicken'

Another day in the life of me although I'd barely call it a life at the moment. I feel like I am dying like actually dying although all the tests suggest I am 'ok' at this point in time. I happen to wonder though after 3 weeks and 3 days of not eating am I really as fine as I say I am? I've lost 12.6 kilos in three weeks I'm faint heart racing can't stand tired but can't sleep cold I want it to end but I keep pushing. My luck and my body.

Well I had another gp appt today my bp was low 109 over something but still normal and my hr was 140 fast but again still normal. He gave me the ultimatum blood test or another appt tomorrow I went with the blood test so I can relax and rest until Tuesday. The pathologist looked at me and said "oh sorry this is a fasting blood test" I replied "I've fasted" "how long" I looked her dead in the eye very seriously and said "3 weeks and 3 days" she didn't look like she believed me so I continued "I have anorexia" I was tired and irritated that I has to go through my medical life with her it was none of her god damn business I just wanted to get home and sink into bed with my diet coke my only reprieve of the day. More then anything I wanted to sleep and my worry to end. But that will have to wait. Once Tuesday is over I can begin to relax as long as Peter lets me free for another week.

My old psychologist rang Hollie asked her to check in and Hollie is checking in Monday they have 'checked in' every day since I was re referred on Tuesday it's getting kinda old I haven't dropped dead yet so everyone STOP WORRYING!

I have so much more on my mind I could write but I'm exhausted mentally so I'm going to leave this a half finished entry sorry guys. I need sleep.