multicoloured poodle is going to school

Phase one of my relapse is falling into place. I just emailed the course co-ordinator and she said i will find out next tuesday at the info session if my application has been successful! I am so excited! My plans are slowly setting into place. But I'm happy for all the wrong reasons for the sheer fact that I will be out of the house able to avoid meals and who knows possibly moving into my own joint in the new year it really excites me. Yes that same me I talk about is the Anorectic me. The only part that makes it all seem unattainable is the thought of continuing with treatment the same treatment I have thrown away time and time again. But never quite successfully.

I find it harder and harder to write about my endless days filled with a whole heap of nothingness. I feel my writing is pointless and a pure waste of time nobody reads this junk anyway or feels that I deserve a bit of support but now that I'm no longer journalling after a year of solid journalling I feel I must keep up my promise to myself to journal and document my life for one day it may come in handy maybe I'll write a book? A book about what!? Ha. It takes me an entire day to write something partially coherent something I am partially 'happy' (thats not the right word) about.

Talking about endless days of nothingness my parents think I'm falling into old habits where I have nothing to fill in the days and they think i need stimulation and motivation hence why she rash decision to enrol in tafe (I don't even feel I chose the right course). They want to see me indulge in my art work once again and even suggested doing a mural on my wall after a lot of self doubt I have decided a mural will be a good pass time so this is what i intend on producing over the coming holiday period.

I got my hair permed yesterday and getting it professionally dyed next friday I'm not going to go outlandish with colouring I think I'm going to go my natural brown something it hasn't been for years. But maybe I'll stick with my Red? It suits me and matches my glasses. This is the one nice thing I do for myself once every 6 or so months. So here's a pic of my multi coloured poodle :)