Seeing Red

I feel the cold blade as it slices across my plate

Engraving a mark of pain

Engraving an everlasting stain

I feel the blood as it soaks through my nightingale

Engraving a mark of pain

Engraving an everlasting stain

I feel the breath of the lord as I kneel to the demon of hell

Engraving a mark of pain

Engraving an everlasting stain

I feel cold as the reality sets in

Engraving a mark of pain

Engraving an everlasting stain

I feel the death that I live as I slice at my skin

Engraving a mark of pain

Engraving an everlasting stain

Engraving the truth of my life

Escaping the truth of my life

I slice at my skin with this blade

As cold as ice my skin bubbles and flows its crimson rows

I live a lie

And die a truth

And all I ask for is flight

As I engrave one last stain

My life

You guessed it, old habits die-hard. I’ve slipped back, finding solstice in a blade.

I even fought with my parents today. Which is a rarity! as I like to "keep the peace". And you'll never guess... *Drum roll*... we fought about... my anorexia, and if I’m relapsing, to which I blatantly denied (did you notice the sarcasm?)

But before then I started the day out well. I walked 3.5k down to the hairdressers at 9am for my once in a blue moon outing into the real world. And I had my six monthly hairdressers appointment for a change of scenery I suppose one could say.

So for more then one reason I am seeing red at the moment and so apparently are my parents.

Before

And...

After    

 (in the spirit of christmas?)