Bitter sweet???

Short and bitter sweet

Bitter more so then sweet actually, I don't think there is an ounce of sweetness.

My community order was revoked and I landed myself back in prison hospital on Monday after I pulled out the NG tube...again on Sunday night. Which led to one of my biggest weeks. Everything ended up so messy! I was on a general acute ward to which I absconded from on Thursday and walked home where the police were called and I asked permission from my parents to die (Obviously they didn't give permission) and then I almost ended up in a locked psych ward!--that doesn't deal with EDs-- But somehow we've done a 360 and I was sent home on yet another community treatment order on Thursday.

My brain is so frazzled life seems messy and unbearable at the moment. I am trying so hard to not screw up if not for the sake of my own sanity for that of my parents.