AFL, Mandometer, Doomed Tuesday

Today was the AFL grandfinal. In other words one of Australia's biggest piss ups. I bought alcohol last night so i could try and keep up with my parents today but what do you know even 65calories is too much for me to handle. I settled for 2 diet cokes instead which make's me feel huge and guilty. I lost 300g overnight and now I'm petrified I will have gained it all back in water weight tomorrow. My weight has barely moved since Thursday which should be a good thing a step towards staying out of hospital but to me there could be nothing worse. The next hardest day will be Monday (My birthday) as again I'm going to want to celebrate. But I can't seem to put a finger up at AN and tell it to piss off. It's been FOUR WEEKS since I last ate! I don't know how I'm still functioning.

My mum suggested today I look into going to the 'mandometer clinic' in Melbourne (it originated from Sweden_ its an intense day program the only thing that stops me is my lack of funding and the fact that i need to be 180% ready to give up this illness and I'm not sure I'm at that stage and I'm sure there would be much more deserving and willing people out there. They apparently have a 70% success rate I'm petrified I'd fall into the 20% it doesn't work for as all else has failed.

I got a lovely phone call from the registrar this morning at 11 o'clock he wanted me to get a blood test asap I basically told him where to shove it and to wait until my appointment on Tuesday why ring and waste my time on a weekend when he was supposed to call yesterday! Gaah he frustrates me he's just...idiotic I hope to god he's not in my appointment on tuesday otherwise we're bound to get nowhere. Except... P's going to be there and he lets me get away with...nothing so I doubt he will be happy sending me home 4 weeks and going of not eating. Fingers crossed he's in a good mood and fresh faced from his most recent holiday.