"...A third of all Anorexics stay sick forever. A third to a half will truly recover. The rest, stay on the brink of illness, living diminished lives: they have trouble keeping friends and holding down jobs; they cycle in and out of hospitals. They spend years on the outside looking in, unable to live fully or wholly." The estimated cycle time is 5 to 7 years. I think I fall into one of two categories the earlier or the latter. I already feel the pull and push of Anorexia's ways cycling in and out of hospitals swallowing colourful pills that are supposed to make me happy, ease the pain, live a life. But all in all failing to succeed.
My mood is down today, my hopes are high set on Thursday discharge. Another day set-up to begin my decent and ultimately my untimely failure, yet again.
I'm holding it all together but there are cracks I'm beginning to crack, but, I once heard a quote that said the cracks are a way to let in the light. I'm confused and conflicted. Where is the light? I'm running away or maybe I'm running too? Is the light really that evil? Am I that evil?
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