What a blow

Well I was desperately looking forward to gaining my freedom tomorrow but now that plans been blown out of the water because my lovely psychiatrist P is not in this week. So we're now looking at weekend leave and then discharge on a CTO early next week.

The prison hospital can't send me home without the appropriate paperwork done first. So now I have to make it through almost another week before I can throw my hands in the air and say enough! On a positive note I will get my favourite hospital dinner; curried tofu, Thursday night.

This still seems to be a big blow to me and unfair blow at it, I just want to go home, no pretending, no facade, and the all known not eating, just the real me, the anorexic me, the sick me, te unforgivable me!

Mum has said that I have to eat with the family when I come home I have no intention on following through and perhaps then I can validate myself perhaps then I can feel I deserve this place at the hospital, but perhaps again maybe not. Only time will tell...

"When life gets tough remember, you were the strongest sperm"