Bang bang

It's a long way to the bottom and an even longer way to the top. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle. And, I don't like it.

I'm waiting for the trigger to be pulled. The guns already loaded. Bang bang. Shoot me down. Your dead. 

I have no idea where my life is headed. Apparently no where fast. I eat. I gain weight. I restrict. I lose weight, and get thrown into hospital. Repeat. 

My mind is plagued like an infectious disease has entered my blood stream. My body brutally bashed and thrown about without a care in the world.  

I AM THE PLAGUE, I AM THE DISEASE, I AM THE ABUSER, I AM THE ILLNESS,THAT IS ME.

I'm exhausted mentally and physically. I want out I want it all over with I want to wake up tomorrow without the hounding of this disease in my eat all day long. I can't even get a good sleep in at the moment!

I'm out

Xx Bec