So my mum and me aren't really on speaking terms after last nights blue her calling me "selfish" and saying if I had of spoken about "what was troubling me (i.e. my friends unexpected death age 12, our involvement with DHS age 8, my older sisters suicide attempts and blaming them on me age 15) I might not be in the situation I am in now" with my anorexia. The first time she spoke to me was midday (mind you I slept in until 10.30) to ask what I was going to eat for lunch my response "I don't know" my head's response "Nothing, haven't you heard I'm an airitarian" I hate how her life has to revolve around what I'm putting into my body as if having my own preoccupation isn't enough. I just want to be left alone with my Anorexia! I want to be completely alone and more then that I want full control over my body, life and treatment I don't want anymore of this being backed into a corner business. But unfortunately my team can see straight through me and know why I want to contest my CTO and therefore they would probably win so I just have to comply for a little while longer if I can last. I'm still going to ask my team tomorrow about contesting it if my CTO can be changed to IP setting I won't bother it's not worth the risk.
Blaah my heads a wonky mess today so I'm not very coherent forgive me?
Xx stay strong beautifuls
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