Geelong Cup

Well this is a late post and much of a nothing post too.

Today was Geelong cup. A big horse racing doo-dah so as a family we sat around watching the races on tv eating crap mucking around like morons and drinking our weight in alcohol.

I'm up to drink number 10 (and I'm not even slightly tipsy my dad on the other hand is a bucket of fun) and for the first time in like...ever, I've been having REAL coke not the diet stuff the full 161 calorie coke and this is like the biggest 'fuck you anorexia' moment I have had in some time. In the beginning my anxiety was inconsolable and now I just don't care I will worry about the repercussions tomorrow at weigh in when my weight is sky high due to my lack of self-control. I can jump back on the band wagon at any given moment I so do choose and this is a comfort in its own.

I've given up now just having a milo before I hit the sack. I'm going to be so dehydrated in the morning. My mum and dad made an executive decision for the second time this week that I don't have to have the tube hooked up over night...because i ate like a fatty :(